We're Here to Fart Around

Author Kurt Vonnegut was a contrarian of the first order and a no-holds-barred commentator on the follies and foibles of humankind. And, while he could be sarcastic and dark, Vonnegut often used humor to communicate his views on the basic questions life. This is shown by a story he told David Brancaccio of PBS during an interview for NOW. The date was October 7, 2005.

"I told my wife I'm going out to buy an envelope. 'Oh,' she says. 'Well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet?' And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, I ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, I don't know. The moral of the story is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore."

This a fast-paced, dog-eat-dog, 24/7 world. There is little or no time to fart around. But, should we make the time? There at least two reasons for doing so. First, to reduce stress. Second, to clear our minds so that new thoughts and ideas can make their way in.

Conversation:

• What is Vonnegut's story about for you?
• How does it intersect with your life at this time?
• When is the last time you farted around? What did you do? How was it worthwhile, or a waste of time?
• If you think that farting around once in awhile is a good idea, how will you make the time do it?
• If you think you do too much of it already, how will you stop?

Afterwords:

"Remember the scene in Cat Ballou where a very drunk Lee Marvin goes from unconscious to ranting to triumphant to roaring to weeping defeat and then finally passes out? One of the men watching him says, with real awe, 'I never seen a man get through a day so fast.' Don't let this be you." - Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

Friends in Low Places

Country singer-songwriter, Garth Brooks, has sold more records than anyone in the history of the music industry, save The Beatles. His signature song is the blue-collar rouser Friends in Low Places.

Friends in low places is a theme that shows up often in the movie Charlie Wilson's War, which is based on the book of the same name by George Crile. A synopsis of the movie from Reuters follows:

Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks) was a bachelor congressman from Texas whose "Good Time Charlie" exterior masked an extraordinary mind, a deep sense of patriotism and a passion for the underdog. In the early 1980s the underdog was Afghanistan - which had just been brutally invaded by the Russians.

Charlie's longtime friend, patron and sometime lover was Joanne Herring (Julia Roberts) - one of the richest women in Texas and a virulent anti-communist. Believing the American response to the Russian invasion was anemic at best, she prodded Charlie into doing more for the Mujahideen (Afghan freedom fighters).

Charlie's partner in this uphill endeavor was CIA Agent Gust Avrakotos (Philip Seymour Hoffman) - a blue-collar operative in a company of Ivy League blue bloods. Together they traveled the world to form unlikely alliances among the Pakistanis, Israelis, Egyptians, arms dealers, law makers and a belly dancer.

Their success was remarkable. Funding for covert ops against the Soviets went from $5 million to $1 billion annually. The Red Army retreated out of Afghanistan. When asked how a group of peasants was able to deliver such a decisive blow to the army of a superpower, Pakistani President Mohammad Zia ul-Haq responded simply: "Charlie did it."

Charlie was able to do it because of the help he and Gust got from friends in low places and in other places as well. Crile explains:

"The way things normally work, if you’re not Jewish you don’t get into the Jewish caucus, but Charlie did. And if you’re not black you don’t get into the black caucus. But Charlie plays poker with the black caucus; they had a game, and he’s the only white guy in it. The House, like any human institution, is moved by friendships, and no matter what people might think about Wilson’s antics, they tend to like him and enjoy his company."

"Avrakotos was hardly the first CIA case officer to recognize the value of lower-level members of an intelligence organization. Abroad, every CIA spy recognizes that perhaps the most promising targets for recruitment in an enemy intelligence service are low-level figures: the code clerks, the secretaries, the couriers. But it was rare indeed to fine a case officer who made an effort to befriend such lowly figures within their own organization. In vivid contrast, Avrakotos had always found himself more at home with these fellow untouchables than with the well-born, high-ranking officers of the clandestine services, and from the time he first joined the CIA he had befriended them. He made it a point to intervene when he could on their behalf. He became their champion whenever one of them would be unfairly treated. And he always shared the truth about the way he felt about the blue-bloods."

Conversation:

• How would you characterize your relationships with the little people in your personal as well as your professional life? Would they echo your comments? Are you sure?
• How has a friend in a low place helped you?
• How has an enemy in a low place done you in?
• As you build and nurture your networks, where do the little people stand? Top of mind? Afterthought? Out of the picture?
  
• If you say they are important to you, are you treating them accordingly?
• If you say they are not important, is it possible you should rethink your position?
  

Afterwords:

"Answer e-mails from junior people before more senior ones. Junior people have further to go and tend to remember who slighted them." - Nassim Nicholas Taleb, from The Sunday Times - June 1, 2008

"If you're in trouble, or hurt or need -- go to the poor people. They're the only ones that'll help - the only ones." - John Steinbeck

"America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but it's people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves. It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor, but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters." - Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five